Hilarious Amazon Product Reviews

Some Amazon reviews include honest, helpful, detailed information that give you a good sense of the product.  Others are downright hilarious. This list is a collection of Amazon products with some of the most hilarious reviews.

Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer – 

  • “I’ve always wondered how to get that professional restaurant quality slice. Now i can ! No more paying for those expensively sliced fruits- i can just stay at home. Considering selling banana slices to my neighbors now for active & passive income!”
  • “Despite only doing left handed bananas it’s a terrific piece of kit”
  • “Wow. What can I say about the Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer…. Well, first of all, it saves me a boatload of time in the morning. I work at a food processing plant and my job is to cut bananas for snack pack type containers. All of my coworkers have lost their jobs due to automation and robots taking over, however since I have been there the longest, they offered me a position alongside the robots….”

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Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant –

The Wenger Giant Knife includes 87 implements for almost any situation.

  • “I didn’t even order this knife. Somehow it ordered itself…I’m so confused right now.”
  • “I accidentally left this knife in the glovebox of my wore out 67 Chevy truck overnight. miraculously the knife fully restored the truck and drove it to the store then returned with two hookers and a cooler full of beer”
  • “As soon as I set the box down, the Wenger 16999 Swiss Army Knife Giant sliced itself out, handed me a note written in braille and proceeded teach me to read braille in about two hours.”

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The Mountain Men’s Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee –

  • “Your going to think I’m crazy, but when I opened the box it came in, I actually heard wolves in the far distance. When I actually put the shirt on, the hairs on my arm stood up and I could hear my own heart beat. I was instantly hungry and ate 3 steaks, raw. “
  • “Received this shirt just in time for my job interview. After seeing my awesome attire, the interviewing manager offered me his job. Of course I accepted. I asked what he was going to do now? He said he would like to post for the position that I had came in to interview for. I told him that he was not qualified, but I did wish him well in his future endeavors.”
  • “Currently running the country side with a pack of wolves after having put on this shirt. Will review later”

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Tiny Hands Toy – Hilarious Realistic Looking 3” Plastic Hands

  • “These are perfect!!! I already had the tiny arms, tiny legs, tiny body and tiny head. These complete the look. Now everywhere I go people think I am tiny when actually I am a 6ft tall 200 lb man. If they sold tiny feet that would be great. But I instead just put my regular feet into tiny shoes and it works.”
  • “There aren’t enough words to express my gratitude for these tiny hands. One day they came to me in a vision and I knew I had to have them. “
  • “Best thing you’ll ever spend money on. Imagine just laying in bed, falling asleep with your partner. They romantically stare into your eyes and then BAM. You break out your tiny hands and stroke their face… Perfection”

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Archie McPhee Accoutrements Giant Lobster Claws –

  • “The claw dexterity is amazing. I have no problem working at the office with these.”
  • “I always yearned for a way to be closer to my pet lobsters. They would always scurry away from my freakish human hands. I stumbled upon this product by accident and was a bit skeptical at first but purchased them anyway. I cannot fully describe how amazing these lobster claws are. “
  • “I prowl the neighborhood by night…lobsterman! evil flees in the face of my mighty pincers…the streets are safe…the night breeze is cool on my bony armor…i sleep in a tide pool by day protected by vigilant trigger fish..these claws have opened a whole new vista of existence…highly recommended..”

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Senior Woman with Asthma Wall Decal Peel and Stick Graphic –

  • “I never knew I wanted something like this, but now that Nana is peeking over the couch in my living room I can’t imagine my life before her.”
  • “At first I wasn’t sure if spending money on a sticker of an old lady with an inhaler was a good idea but once I got it I knew I had made the right choice. She keeps me company in my apartment since I don’t have any actual friends, we eat, play board games, and watch tv together. We have so much in common like our love for breathing and other things. She doesn’t argue like real people do and Unlike a girlfriend I don’t have to take her on dates, worry about keeping her happy and she doesn’t nag me for money. Overall I am 100% satisfied with my purchase.”
  • “Got it as a gift for the wife, hung it above the bed. Wife left me. The real woman stayed.”

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BIC Cristal For Her Ball Pen –

  • “These pens fit perfect in my hands, but hubby feels they are unnecessary since he writes all the checks. I’d explain more but I have to go make him a sammich.”
  • “I’d really like to buy a pack of these pens; but I probably need my father’s or husband’s permission first. Like I do with all my financial decisions.”
  • “Well at last pens for us ladies to use… now all we need is “for her” paper and I can finally learn to write!”

Read more customer reviews here